Your search for TweetoftheDay returned 200 result(s)

December 16, 2009
Why are we celebrating someone’s birthday who only achieved a measly 12 followers in his lifetime?
@FussySaffa, Tweet of the Day, December 16, 2009

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December 3, 2009
I’ve enjoyed giving presentations at work a lot more since I started communicating exclusively through interpretive dance.
@imaudihere, Tweet of the Day runner-up, December 3, 2009 (nominated by @lafix)

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What’s the difference between a golf ball and an Escalade?

Tiger Woods can drive one of them 400 yards.

@PunkTaco, Tweet of the Day, December 3, 2009

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December 2, 2009
If I were dating popular culture, I think we’d be having a conversation in a cafe where I explained I was just not into them anymore.
@shieldmaiden96, Tweet of the Day runner-up, December 2, 2009 (quoted by @unfnshdprsn)

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Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Fellatio.” My efforts to produce Shakepearean porn are gonna take the world by storm.
@crustyjuggler72, Tweet of the Day, December 2, 2009 (nominated by @lafix)

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November 24, 2009
Fine. Ignore the fact that I vacuumed up a spider all by myself and focus on the fact that I won’t let the vacuum cleaner back in the house.
@ivegotzooms, Tweet of the Day, November 24, 2009

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November 19, 2009
The first rule of Helen Keller Club is: ARFCARBAHHHHGLE!!!
@sucittaM, Tweet of the Day runner-up, November 19, 2009

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Is this “New Moon” everyone is talking about supposed to replace the one that NASA blew up?
@MrBigFists, Tweet of the Day, November 19, 2009 (nominated by @ItsTheStepster)

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November 18, 2009
Spending too much money to revive the economy could spark a double-dip recession, said Obama who was apparently eating nachos at the time.
@evrythingmustgo, Tweet of the Day runner-up, November 18, 2009

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There comes a day in every procrastinators life when she has to stand up and say enough is enough! And that day. Is tomorrow.
@Befralee, Tweet of the Day, November 18, 2009

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