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lubranoexposed: rinaedin: I’m pretty sure if we have the exact...

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 00:00:46 -0600

rinaedin:

I’m pretty sure if we have the exact same score it means we tied and I didn’t lose. Weeeeiiiirrd.

How come your scrabble looks cooler than mine?!

Natalie, This isn’t Scrabble, it’s that Words With Friends game. Like Lexulus all the score tiles are in the wrong places.

Rinaedin, I think it is going by the Homer Simpson logic of anyone who fails to win is a loser. (http://www.snpp.com/episodes/7F08.html)

@indefensible is a genius!

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 23:30:00 -0600

indefensible:

OK HERE IS WHY.

Whenever culture throws up a Zooey or a Natalie Portman in Garden State or some other magical ingenue, it presents men with a picture of the woman as ‘the other’, a fantastical and impossible creature whom we are invited to look at as being in some way intrinsically different to men.

This ‘otherness’ is not so different to the perception of women as ‘others’ which used to allow men to think that their subjugation was A-OK in a pre-feminism world. Oooh look at her, so delicate and magical and with the unicorns drawn on her pencil case, and the cute flat shoes with the buckles, and the head tilted forward so her eyes always look like they’re in some way pleading, and her VW Beetle that is forever needing you to replace the sparkplugs because she’s too busy writing poetry and shit to read the workshop manual.

So what I am saying is that Zooey is the reason your boyfriend won’t clean up after himself, and you should hate her for that.

C’mon, Twitter, I don’t tweet THAT much!

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 22:24:27 -0600

C’mon, Twitter, I don’t tweet THAT much!

I'm still confused as to why @joesmithreally shows me such hostility when I'm just trying to have a dialog.

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 22:20:55 -0600

pigtailsandcombatboots:

joeschmitt:

But I’ve become certain I am not the cause. One day he is thoughtful and analytical and adds something I hadn’t considered, and I’m glad I was able to look past the latest flameout or two. But then before I know it he’s on a mission to alienate everyone again, and he will stop at nothing until everyone’s gone or is in lockstep with him.

You do know, that the only way it’s going to stop is when random comments like this are not being posted. Both of you need to move on. I completely agree with everything joesmith has written, and am trying really hard to not get involved by posting my own diatribe on the subject. It’s old news by now. Stop stoking the fire by posting comments like this. Even if joe doesn’t see it, he does have people who agree with him who are going to react to such comments, especially when they are posted on Tumblr, which he doesn’t follow, AND you don’t let this specific post link out to your Twitter stream. It’s the same as talking behind someone’s back.

In the grand scheme of things, none of this is important, and if it truly was a dialogue that was being sought, there would not be attempts such as this to get the “last word”.

Ultimately, everyone has a right to their own opinion. Agree to disagree and move on.

You may not believe me, but I’m not trying to get the last word. While he did unfollow me, I’ve got his email (as he has mine), and I could pursue the conversation there. The reason I posted this is that I’ve become aware that I think more than a handful of people have had this experience, but many may feel (like I did back when it first happened) that it was personal and that somehow I had set him off.

You are correct that I didn’t post it to Twitter. I don’t want him to feel he has to respond to this. This wasn’t for him. It was for people like my friend who DMed me in agreement and said, “I like him in spite of his perplexing/anti-social behavior.” That kind of sums it up— I still like him when he’s in a good mood. It just doesn’t feel like the same person I was having a free exchange with over Favrd and the ways different people were lining up at the funeral a mere week ago. He was DMing me to tell me to read his latest posts, and some were very astute. Then snap— over. If I thought this was only between he and I, I would have kept quiet. He’s not the first person on Twitter to go from friendly colleague to enemy in a few short days for reasons I don’t understand, nor will he be the last.

"Why are we celebrating someone’s birthday who only achieved a measly 12 followers in his..."

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 16:51:50 -0600

“Why are we celebrating someone’s birthday who only achieved a measly 12 followers in his lifetime?”

- @FussySaffa, Tweet of the Day, December 16, 2009

And check out the complete list of picks for Tweet of the Day

blobert: (via juliasegal) See. It is for Cookie. If these...

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 14:34:07 -0600

blobert:

(via juliasegal)

See. It is for Cookie.

If these were made at my office, our executive creative would try to art direct the cupcakes. And I’m not really joking. A month ago he actually tried to art direct a cake from Jewel!

The person in the next cube says she wouldn’t be able to eat Cookie Monster. But she’s a vegetarian— she doesn’t get that if they made cookie cupcakes of her, Cookie Monster would have no such qualms.

Missing Bush email #247631:

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:02:00 -0600

Date: August 17, 2005 10:32 AM
From: W
To: Turdblossom
Subject: Where is it?

Karl,

Where in the hell is my singing fish? The guys from State said I could put it back up after Putin left. It is my only joy since the Secret Service took away my pretzels.

I'm still confused as to why @joesmithreally shows me such hostility when I'm just trying to have a dialog.

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:57:13 -0600

But I’ve become certain I am not the cause. One day he is thoughtful and analytical and adds something I hadn’t considered, and I’m glad I was able to look past the latest flameout or two. But then before I know it he’s on a mission to alienate everyone again, and he will stop at nothing until everyone’s gone or is in lockstep with him.

Google Voice vs. DeVry University

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:30:29 -0600

rachelskirts:

I missed a lot of phone calls from DeVry University Online when I was on vacation in November. This is what happens when Google Voice tries to transcribe DeVry, DeVry University, or DeVry University Online.

Hey Rachel, This is Donna over at the right.

Hey Rachel, it’s, Donald over at the rice.

Hello Rachel, This is Chris for Crawford on the System Director of Admissions at the right.

Hey Rachel, it’s, Donald over at the Ryan giving you a call.

Hey Rachel, it’s, Donald over at the right.

Rachel, This is Julie on the scene finance department here to find her cell. 9.

Hi, hey this is a Asher calling from the ground. Mine didn’t finance.

Hello Rachel, This is Julie on in the Student Finance department here at my number is Van Lines.

Hey Rachel, it’s, Donald authorized.

Hey Rachel, This is Joe from the right student finance.

Hello Rachel, This is Chris for Crawford on the Assistant Director of Admissions at the Dry University.

Hey Rachel, Donald of the ride in.

This is hilarious. I tried Jott when I got my iPhone last year, and its transcriptions were pretty bad. Not only would it take me more time to correct than it would have to just type it into Notes on my phone, but half the time I had no idea what it was about any more. Worse even than the results of my own handwriting a year later, which I also have trouble with. And the thing about Jott is that it’s not a computer trying to do it—it’s people in India picking it up and transcribing it. I’ve never had luck with text-to-speech.

Some people call them “winged rats”; I think...

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 09:57:42 -0600

Some people call them “winged rats”; I think they’re more like flying hobos. Always hanging around the el stop, looking for a handout.

Are you a frustrated Bears fan? If so, join me in the Loop on...

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 17:00:00 -0600

Are you a frustrated Bears fan? If so, join me in the Loop on Thursday, 12/17 at 5:30 to sing the revised lyrics to the Bears Fight Song. It will be taped for YouTube AND CBS2 Chicago will be taping it to put on the news!

Chicago Bears Fight Song (frustrated fan version)

Lie down, Chicago Bears, snatch defeat from the jaws of victory;
Lie down, Chicago Bears, let them score and you’ve lost your dignity.
We’ll never forget the way you bored the nation with your punt
formation.
Lie down, Chicago Bears, you’ve failed again to convert on third down.
Haven’t had a man since Jim McMahon, Chicago Bears, lie down.

lyrics by Joe Schmitt with help from Thad, Art and Brian

If you’re interested in joining the group to sing, join the Frustrated Bears Fan group on Facebook and I’ll get you the exact address and make sure we can get you through security. Be sure to bring some Bears clothing on Thursday.

The 12 Days of Glenn Beck

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 10:29:08 -0600

rexhuppke:

On the first day of Christmas, Glenn Beck gave to me, a big bucket full of crazy.

On the second day of Christmas, Glenn Beck gave to me, two Palin T-shirts and a big bucket full of crazy.

On the third day of Christmas, Glenn Beck gave to me, three Freedom Fries, two Palin T-shirts and a big bucket full of crazy.

On the fourth day of Christmas, Glenn Beck gave to me, four screaming nut jobs, three Freedom Fries, two Palin T-shirts and a big bucket full of crazy.

On the fifth day of Christmas, Glenn Beck gave to me, FIVE flat-out lies. Four screaming nut jobs, three Freedom Fries, two Palin T-shirts and a big bucket full of crazy.

On the sixth day of Christmas, Glenn Beck gave to me, six homophobes, FIVE flat-out lies. Four screaming nut jobs, three Freedom Fries, two Palin T-shirts and a big bucket full of crazy.

On the seventh day of Christmas, Glenn Beck gave to me, seven batty Bachmanns, six homophobes, FIVE flat-out lies. Four screaming nut jobs, three Freedom Fries, two Palin T-shirts and a big bucket full of crazy.

On the eighth day of Christmas, Glenn Beck gave to me, eight Rovian falsehoods, seven batty Bachmanns, six homophobes, FIVE flat-out lies. Four screaming nut jobs, three Freedom Fries, two Palin T-shirts and a big bucket full of crazy.

On the ninth day of Christmas, Glenn Beck gave to me, nine shouts of “Tyranny!”, eight Rovian falsehoods, seven batty Bachmanns, six homophobes, FIVE flat-out lies. Four screaming nut jobs, three Freedom Fries, two Palin T-shirts and a big bucket full of crazy.

On the tenth day of Christmas, Glenn Beck gave to me, ten leaps of judgment, nine shouts of “Tyranny!”, eight Rovian falsehoods, seven batty Bachmanns, six homophobes, FIVE flat-out lies. Four screaming nut jobs, three Freedom Fries, two Palin T-shirts and a big bucket full of crazy.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, Glenn Beck gave to me, eleven crazy eye stares, ten leaps of judgment, nine shouts of “Tyranny!”, eight Rovian falsehoods, seven batty Bachmanns, six homophobes, FIVE flat-out lies. Four screaming nut jobs, three Freedom Fries, two Palin T-shirts and a big bucket full of crazy.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Glenn Beck gave to me, twelve tin-foil beanies, eleven crazy eye stares, ten leaps of judgment, nine shouts of “Tyranny!”, eight Rovian falsehoods, seven batty Bachmanns, six homophobes, FIVE flat-out lies. Four screaming nut jobs, three Freedom Fries, two Palin T-shirts and a big bucket full of crazy.

Q: How many zen monks does it take to change a lightbulb?

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 14:31:35 -0600

A: Two, one to change it and the other to clap with one hand when he’s done.

If I move to Iowa, will my Farmville be subsidized?

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 09:52:10 -0600

If I move to Iowa, will my Farmville be subsidized?

The retro vintage remake phone is plenty cute, but when you...

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 18:04:11 -0600

The retro vintage remake phone is plenty cute, but when you answer your mother-in-law’s* call because it doesn’t have caller ID, it seems a little less cute.

*No actual mother-in-laws were ignored in the writing of this post.

Have I talked @joesmithreally into taking just a little hate and meanness off the internet today?

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 15:52:13 -0600

Sometimes I don’t know my own strength.

OK, I caved. Ask away.

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 11:24:38 -0600

http://www.formspring.me/joeschmitt

I’m making no promises about when I’ll answer or how seriously I’ll take it.

Point of clarification

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 14:31:48 -0600

In Canada they are called elitiusts.

And they are sorry.

“This train is experiencing equipment problems and will be...

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 09:37:33 -0600

“This train is experiencing equipment problems and will be standing until they are fixed.” OK, buddy, but it’s 8 degrees, how about closing the door while we wait?!

Man, those people at the bank are uptight. You’d think...

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 08:00:00 -0600

Man, those people at the bank are uptight. You’d think they never saw someone in a ski mask before. Hello! It’s cold out.

NOTE: Yes, this photo has been on Flickr for 11 months, but I figure 5000 people have never seen it, and it’s 8 degrees out, snowing and windy, so I was thinking of it. So sue me for plagiarizing myself.