Joe Schmitt has something to say

Do I have to stop making Checkpoint Charlie jokes just because Checkpoint Charlie hasn’t...

Thu, 03 Jan 2013 15:17:33 -0600

Do I have to stop making Checkpoint Charlie jokes just because Checkpoint Charlie hasn’t existed in over 20 years?

Nothing like reading two notices of your own death. Except for reading a notice of your own death.

Wed, 02 Jan 2013 20:17:47 -0600

Not my death exactly, but Joe Schmitt’s death. And another Joe Schmitt’s death.

Thanks to Google Alerts on “joe schmitt” I know that 2 different Joseph Schmitts have died in the Chicago area in the last few months. One even had the same middle initial as me. The whole thing is a bit unsettling, especially since one was a murder-suicide where the Joe Schmitt also took the life of his son.

Anyone else run into this?

"Root for the Packers? And for what? So I can watch the Bears offensive line meltdown next week in..."

Sun, 30 Dec 2012 17:51:12 -0600

“Root for the Packers? And for what? So I can watch the Bears offensive line meltdown next week in the playoffs?”

teapartycat: NRA: “It’s too soon to talk about reindeer...

Thu, 27 Dec 2012 14:51:19 -0600

teapartycat:

NRA: “It’s too soon to talk about reindeer control.”

Reindeer control is the most important issue facing our great nation. Call your congressman today.

"Forget the Naughty List— if Santa only brought presents to kids who brushed and flossed that..."

Sun, 23 Dec 2012 20:24:42 -0600

“Forget the Naughty List— if Santa only brought presents to kids who brushed and flossed that night, he’d be done in 10 minutes.”

"I had to cut through the perfume floor of Macy’s, so now I won’t be able to taste food..."

Sat, 15 Dec 2012 21:29:22 -0600

“I had to cut through the perfume floor of Macy’s, so now I won’t be able to taste food for a week.”

"I called 9-1-1, but they told me that Paul McCartney replacing Kurt Cobain in Nirvana is not a hate..."

Wed, 12 Dec 2012 11:14:59 -0600

“I called 9-1-1, but they told me that Paul McCartney replacing Kurt Cobain in Nirvana is not a hate crime and to stop calling.”

Rex Huppke's "Obituary For Facts" named to Time's Top 10 Opinions of 2012

Wed, 05 Dec 2012 20:00:06 -0600

Rex Huppke's "Obituary For Facts" named to Time's Top 10 Opinions of 2012:

But since facts are dead, this could just be made up.

Get it together, ad writers!

Thu, 29 Nov 2012 20:00:27 -0600

From my friend Chris:

I saw an ad for United that says “We’re going places. More than 370 to be exact.” Ummmmmmmmmmmm how is that exact? That’s like making a cake with a recipe that says “Add some eggs. More than one to be exact. And some flour. More than a tablespoon to be exact.” GET IT TOGETHER, AD WRITERS!

"No, Facebook, I don’t want to pay you to make sure my friends see this post, and I never will,..."

Fri, 16 Nov 2012 17:31:37 -0600

“No, Facebook, I don’t want to pay you to make sure my friends see this post, and I never will, so please stop asking.”

"It’s morning in America."

Wed, 07 Nov 2012 08:30:24 -0600

“It’s morning in America.”

teapartycat: The TeaPartyCat Guide to the 2012 Election from FlyoverJoel

Fri, 02 Nov 2012 09:30:31 -0500

teapartycat:

The TeaPartyCat Guide to the 2012 Election from FlyoverJoel

"Good night for Chicago: Bears victory, Obama victory, and both even covered the spread."

Mon, 22 Oct 2012 22:37:30 -0500

“Good night for Chicago: Bears victory, Obama victory, and both even covered the spread.”

Nerdist: The Funniest People You Should Be Following for Debate Coverage

Mon, 22 Oct 2012 16:53:14 -0500

Nerdist: The Funniest People You Should Be Following for Debate Coverage:

Anjeanette Carter picks @TeaPartyCat as #1 and @RexHuppke as #5. Awesome.

"My wife is seein New Order, John Taylor, and Morrissey this week, and yet there are still people who..."

Sun, 21 Oct 2012 18:54:50 -0500

“My wife is seein New Order, John Taylor, and Morrissey this week, and yet there are still people who don’t believe time machines exist.”

teapartycat: Mitt Romney’s binders full of women from his time...

Thu, 18 Oct 2012 10:39:40 -0500

teapartycat:

Mitt Romney’s binders full of women from his time has governor have been found!

"They say there’s a presidential debate tonight, but I’m pretty sure it’s a rerun."

Tue, 16 Oct 2012 16:41:12 -0500

“They say there’s a presidential debate tonight, but I’m pretty sure it’s a rerun.”

"If Romney loses, will those “put the white back in White House” t-shirts go to Africa..."

Sun, 14 Oct 2012 19:07:59 -0500

“If Romney loses, will those “put the white back in White House” t-shirts go to Africa like the “Bears 2007 Super Bowl Champs” t-shirts did?”

"The Nobel Peace Prize was awarded to the European Union. The EU was unavailable to comment as it was..."

Fri, 12 Oct 2012 14:57:08 -0500

“The Nobel Peace Prize was awarded to the European Union. The EU was unavailable to comment as it was waterskiing over a shark.”

teapartycat: Paul Ryan cites a lot of figures. Maybe he’ll use...

Thu, 11 Oct 2012 19:48:51 -0500

teapartycat:

Paul Ryan cites a lot of figures. Maybe he’ll use this one in the debate tonight.