My friend Emanuel wrote this list, which he allowed me to publish since he no longer has a blog. The man is a genius— read on.
Questions I’d like to ask some people on Facebook but then remember I have actual work to do:
- When did you become all churchy?
- Do you really need an alias? We can see your actual name.
- What exactly do you do for a living? You appear professional but there’s no actual trace of your profession.
- Are you seriously not aware of how annoying those bullshit game/calendar/etc invites are?
- Do you think people want to see a picture of your generic-ass dinner of Kraft Mac & Cheese, baked pork chops, canned green beans and Sunkist on the rocks?
- Know any jokes the rest of us can laugh at?
- Who the f*ck told you a 3 can represent an E? I have word that E is pissed and doesn’t appreciate the unapproved substitution.
- Did anyone tell you that a hashtag is for Twitter? It may have some significance on Facebook but it looks weird in your status.
- Did the rest of us express an interest in coming to your party? No? Then why in the hell are you inviting us to a party that is over 1,000 miles away every week?
- Are we friends or acquaintances? If it’s the latter then don’t take it personal when I unsubscribe from you. We still cool though.
My favorite is #7. Which is yours?10 months ago