Joe Schmitt has something to say

I need them by 2:00 Central. It’s not every day I get to bring up female masturbation in a meeting and it’s appropriate, so I need to capitalize on this opportunity.

So what are they?

ripslich:

unsolicited financial service call from an institution at which i have an account.

marketing moron #1 calls this morning
11:30am

MM1: good morning, mr. schmitt …
something something account something something firm
something something i can serve as a resource for you …”

Paul: is there a problem with my account?

MM1: oh no. i just wanted to let you know i am a resource for you
something something we haven’t talked in a year something something
business card something something do you have a pen handy?

Paul: oh, can you email me?

MM1: something something compliance doesn’t allow us to email …

Paul: if you can’t email me, I’m not interested

Paul: [hangs up]

…………

MM1: [calls back]

Paul: [lets it go to voice mail]

MM1: oh, hello, mr. schmitt, something something looks like we got disconnected
something something business card in the mail
something something direct line ….

Paul: [listens to voice mail]

Paul: [laughs himself silly]

Yes, yes, regulatory compliance doesn’t allow us to send misleading emails, that’s why we prefer to do high-pressure sales tactics cold calling.

I’m a resource for you to spend more money on fees with our organization. No, it’s not a bug, it’s a feature.

#1 “The majority of participants was expecting more of a slushy beverage.”

OR

#2 “The majority of participants were expecting more of a slushy beverage.”

We’re having an argument about which one of these is correct. I think it’s #2, and here’s why:

The rule on words like majority is whether the members of the group act as one or as individuals, where a team wins a game as one, but members of the team win trophies for their play. Do individuals expect more or does the group expect more? You could probably argue either way, but I think it’s plural here, meaning “were expecting”, because majority always means a group of individuals but not all of them and their actions aren’t necessarily coordinated like that of a team.

What do you think, and why? And can you PROVE it?

Q: What’s the difference between Transformers 2 and a boring, pointless car commercial?

A: 90 minutes.

steelopus:

Steve Jobs is right that Apple Inc. doesn’t need to apologize to its investors, and I hope he doesn’t take shit for saying that.

I’m an investor.  I purchased a number of shares with confidence in the knowledge that Apple continually trends upwards because they continually release incredible products.

You know who needs to apologize to investors? Goldman Sachs, Bear Stearns, AIG, etc.  They swindled billions of dollars away from their investors, and then did it again to the American tax payers.

Apple releases arguably the greatest smartphone ever developed and you’re asking them to apologize to investors?  You’re a goddamn moron.  You need to apologize to the world for being so mind-numbingly stupid.

I agree with your investment bank premise, but not the Apple part. Yes, they do release great stuff and trend upwards. But knowingly releasing a product that may need to be recalled, or that fails basic usability? Everyone needs to be called out on that shit. even them. If Microsoft or Blackberry or Motorola were caught doing that, you think Steve Jobs would say caveat emptor? I doubt it.