“When I was given the job of godfather, I was not told that one day eight years later I’d have to wake up earlier on a Saturday than on Friday. This first communion crap better not happen again.”
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May 2010
119 posts
April 2010
109 posts
“Maybe it’s just me, but if my name was Walter Boring, I might take my wife’s name.”
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“The odds of me becoming a lightning victim in the U.S. in any particular year are 1 in 700,000. The odds of me being struck in my lifetime are 1 in 3,000. If worse comes to worst, I will try my best to say something ironic just before it happens.”
—Sam Battin, who is part of the Breaking The News team, and who plays Faustus J. Cornbird in the videos.
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Oh, no! No Project Runway tonight!
Quick, someone say “topamericandesigner” and restate the rules a hundred times to keep me sane.
It’s so windy in Chicago right now that at any moment I expect to see Pooh and Piglet holding on to a branch for dear life. #blustery
The Basic Elements Of A Joke:
Ahmidinejad
Boobquake
Denier
Make it work!
If I make up a word and tweet it enough times,
can I then play it in Scrabble and Words With Friends? Because that’d be ve, ve, ve awesome.
If you agree, reblog or retweet. And God bless this ve, ve, ve awesome
country.
“Controversy erupted this week when Nissan announced that early interest for their new electric car, the Leaf, was strong, with customers reserving more than 10% in the first 3 days. Their spokesman said “That’s a lot of Leafs”, which led to protests in the grammar community. In response Nissan’s announced their new marketing slogan: “Make like a tree…and get out of here.”
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the Breaking the News writers. This is a bit we cut for time, but I hate the idea that you all aren’t getting a chance to laugh at it.
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If you’ve followed and played Words With Friends with someone for months but don’t know if they are a man or a woman, exactly when is it OK to ask?
TiVo just tried to change the channel away from the Blackhawks game to record Ru Paul’s Drag Race.
I think TiVo just called me gay.
“Let he who can pronounce Eyjafjallajokull throw the first stone.”
—Matthew 3:17
Seth Meyers on the Arizona immigration law: “there’s nothing more Nazi than telling someone to show you their papers.”
